Star Trek: Picard Season 3 Episode 9 Review: Nostalgia Bait
In the episode of "The Ren & Stimpy Show" called "Space Madness" (September 8, 1991), the feckless young space cadet Stimpy (Billy West) is charged with guarding a mysterious button called the History Eraser Button. No one knows what the History Eraser Button does, but Stimpy is immediately intrigued. He paces, looking at the button, sweating nervously. He wants to push the button. An announcer begins to dictate Stimpy's temptation. Will he push the beautiful, shiny button? The button that, even now, beckons him ever closer? Stimpy breaks down, wails that he cannot help himself, and pushes the button. History is erased and all the characters immediately cease to be. The end.
"Star Trek: Picard" has been pacing similarly around its own History Eraser Button for eight episodes. The "Picard" button, however, is a nostalgia button. A History Indulging Button, if you will. Showrunner Terry Matalas has been eyeballing his button for eight episodes, judiciously avoiding pressing it, steering clear of plot points that felt like brazen fan service. Yes, there have been several moments constructed for Trekkies, of course — the scene in episode six, where Jack (Ed Speleers) and Seven of Nine (Jeri Ryan) ogle ships from other TV shows was pretty insufferable — but this season of "Picard" has felt largely organic in its references to the past. When a legacy character emerged — as they do on the regular — each one had been permitted to grow up and change.
With episode 9, called "Võx," the jolly, candy-like button became too alluring. Matalas wailed, slammed his fist down on it, and, lo, the entire show instantly became insipid nostalgia bait. Such a pity. This season was doing so well.
The Mystery of Jack Crusher
The last few episodes of "Picard" have been building up a mysterious secret about Jack Crusher. Not only was he being relentlessly hunted by the now-defeated Vadic (Amanda Plummer), but he seems to have developed eerie psychic powers as well as a disturbing propensity for murder. He has also been infected by visions of a mysterious red door that hides a secret. At the beginning of "Võx," Jack and Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis) open the door to see what the visions mean. On the other side is a Borg ship. Just like in the last season of "Picard" ... and in "The Best of Both Worlds" ... and in "Descent" ... and in "First Contact" ... and in "Scorpion" ... and in "Dark Frontier" ... and in "Unimatrix Zero" ... and at least 17 video games ... the story will revolve around a twist with the Borg. What a dull surprise. It seems the writers of "Star Trek" just can't tear themselves away from the Borg. One might be tempted to say that the malevolent cyborgs have been overexposed to the point of no longer being interesting.
It's explained that Jack's psychic powers are the result of a gene inherited from his father's brain, previously thought to be an incurable disease called Irumodic Syndrome. It was, however, a Borg gene (?). It seems when Picard (Patrick Stewart) was assimilated by the Borg, they also left a single gene in his brain. One might immediately wonder how a species of cyborgs, who kidnap humans and surgically inserts machinery into their bodies have their own unique gene, but it seems that's not of concern to the "Picard" writers. They wanted a clever way to get Jack assimilated and this was their means of doing so.
D for effort
It's tiresome to return to the Borg again, and it defies what was previously known about them. The "big twist" is, quite frankly, dumb.
Jack's knowledge of his Borg heritage causes him to flee the ship and fly to a nearby Borg ship, hidden in a nebula. He hears the voice of the Borg Queen (Alice Krige, reprising her role from "Star Trek: First Contact"), and goes to her. A Borg plan is implemented which, thanks to some byzantine explanations involving the Changeling and the transporters, causes every Starfleet officer under 25 to become a Borg. This handily all took place in and around Frontier Day, a Federation holiday wherein hundreds of Starfleet vessels will be together in the same place. The Borg more or less takes command of all of Starfleet. This is a dramatic turn of events that will elicit eye rolls more than nostalgic bliss.
But now that the muscles that control your eye rolls have been thoroughly worked out, they'll be prepared for what happens next. Matalas didn't just press the nostalgia button. He seems to have fallen asleep on it.
It wasn't enough to gather the main cast of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" in one room. Matalas has contrived a way to get Stewart, Sirtis, Jonathan Frakes, Gates McFadden, Michael Dorn, LeVar Burton, and Brent Spiner ... back on board a familiar ship. Perhaps when Geordi (Burton) opens up his garage doors and reveals that he's been secretly restoring a certain Galaxy-class vessel in secret, some viewers will smile with comfort and recognition. Some, however, will be screaming in frustration.
The third season of "Picard," previously so ginger with nostalgia imagery, has gone full-bore "Star Wars."
Somehow Palpatine returned
To elucidate: remember Boba Fett? He debuted in "The Star Wars Holiday Special" riding a dinosaur. In the 1980 film "The Empire Strikes Back," he was a near-mute bounty hunter whose defining character trait was merely the helmet he wore. He returned in 1983's "Return of the Jedi" where he was killed in the mouth of a carnivorous desert creature. That could have been the end for Boba Fett. Fans, however, became enamored of the character's design, intrigued by his mystery, and his importance to "Star Wars" was unduly expanded. In the "Star Wars" prequels, Boba Fett was revealed to contain the genetic material that was used to make all the Empire's Storm Troopers. Filmmaker George Lucas essentially created an entire army of Boba Fetts. The series added importance to the character after the fact.
The same has now happened in "Picard" and with the Enterprise-D. The characters, now in their 80s, 90s, 100s, might have pleasant memories of the Enterprise-D, but would they really be this aggressively wistful about walking back onto its bridge again? Haven't they lived entire lives since their eight-year stint on the ship they crashed? Haven't they all served on other ships and filled other, more edifying professional roles in Starfleet? Is it really all about the Enterprise-D for them?
Indeed, didn't the third season of "Picard" begin with the title character packing up all his nostalgic stuff in a box, declaring openly that he has no interest in legacy? It seems that box fell wide open again, and he — and the audience — are encouraged to feast on Memberberries.
What a disappointment.