House Of The Dragon Hosts An Awkward Family Dinner In 'The Lord Of The Tides'

Many a joke has been made about what awkward family dinners the Targaryens must have: between the incest, eye-gouging, arm lacerating, prejudice against brunettes, and the general issue of holding onto grudges for WAY too long, there's no way that this extended family can sit down for a peaceful meal of pigeon pie without breaking into battle. So it was only a matter of time before "House of the Dragon" made good on the promise and forced us to endure the full-fledged awkwardness of a massive Targaryen gathering. In "The Lord of the Tides," we get a front-row seat to one of this family's most unforgettable meals.

All that said, I've gotta say, for a surprising couple of minutes, the Targaryen family dinner actually goes pretty smoothly. It was even kind of heartwarming! But, of course, I'm a seasoned Westerosi visitor, and thanks to the Red Wedding debacle of 2013, I know better than to get comfortable at a feast (especially one that's meant to smooth over everyone's deep-seated tensions). When there's jaunty music playing and sweet interactions are abundant, it's usually a major red flag — but I'll be damned if I didn't smile when Jacaerys crossed the invisible battle lines to dance with Helaena. For a shining few moments, the Targaryens truly did come together to give poor King Viserys (Paddy Considine) the one thing he's spent the past eight episodes screaming about: some goddamn unity.

But in Westeros, good things tend to meet a tragic end.

Shockingly, it isn't a crack in the composure of Alicent Hightower (Olivia Cooke) or even Rhaenyra Targaryen (Emma D'Arcy) that makes this sweet moment crumble. Hell, they even take baby steps to heal their incredibly fractured relationship. But then comes the harsh realities of the conflict they've passed down to their kids, a sharp reminder that this vision of a happy family can never truly be.

All of this Driftwood Throne drama turns out to be extremely inconvenient for poor Rhaenyra, who is forced to leave Dragonstone, where she's happily shacked up with her uncle and is awaiting the birth of their third child together. They've got dragon eggs, Valyrian tutors, and some of the only bearable Targaryen kids in the realm. Why the hell would they want to leave that behind to cross paths with the Hightowers again? Because, as usual, the heavy burden of her duty is calling.

Rhaenyra has no choice but to step up and defend her son's claim to the Driftwood throne because his very life could depend on it. If he's passed over, then Jacaerys and even Rhaenyra will look suspicious as heirs to the Iron Throne. It would give credence to the rumor that her children are illegitimate and if the rest of the Kingdom openly accepts that, then her family is at risk.

Rhaenyra isn't the only would-be Queen with a stake in this debate. I've yet to mention the only other woman who might be more entrenched in this than her: Rhaenys Velaryon (Eve Best). Even though she spent years sitting on the throne in her husband's stead, the possibility of his death means he must be succeeded by someone else — aka a man with Velaryon blood. The Queen Who Never Was is no stranger to being passed over, so she doesn't really make an effort to argue in her own defense. But don't forget that she's already voiced her opinion on this matter: she tried to convince Corlys to pass the throne to their grandaughter, Baela, but he stubbornly stuck to his guns about backing Lucerys. So with him out of commission, where does Rhaenys stand?

It turns out that a lifetime of being told that he's special, meant for greatness, and totally allowed to steal his sister's birthright has made Aegon Targaryen into a spoiled brat, a bully, and *checks notes* yep, a rapist. For what is presumably not the first time, Aegon has sexually assaulted a servant and left it upon Alicent to clean up his mess. Like an absolute pro, Alicent offers the girl a hug and then promptly coerces her into silence with the threat of a ruined reputation and the unspoken possibility of something worse.

Throughout all this, Alicent's misery is palpable. She clearly hates her son and is disgusted by his actions — but none of that is enough to stop her from protecting him. And it's certainly not enough to hold him accountable in any significant way. Sure, she slaps him, insults him, and showers only Helaena in sympathies but despite knowing him to be a monster, there's no question that Alicent will continue to defend Aegon and take actions that may one day help him win the Iron Throne.

Thankfully, Viserys manages to pull his half-decayed body from bed just in time to stop that from happening.

A barely breathing corpse he may be, but Viserys was lucid enough to process his daughter's plea for help and steps up in her defense. Or, more accurately, limps up the stairs with the help of Daemon (Matt Smith). It's a struggle (made easier by his touching reconnection with his brother), but he manages to collapse on the throne and resize authority. He throws to Rhaenys for her thoughts on Corlys' wishes, which she chooses to honor, ultimately siding with Rhaenyra and Lucerys.

Believe it or not, Vaemond is not a fan and decides to do the unthinkable in his outrage. He shouts for all seven Gods to hear, "Her children are bastards." Uh oh.

If not for Viserys' speech, it would've been a tense and uncomfortable meal. But for maybe the millionth time since the series began, the King makes a plea for everybody to play nice. This time, he lays himself bare — and maybe it's because he's speaking as a man whose life is clearly waning out, but his words have some actual impact. "The crown can not stand strong if the house of the dragon remains divided," he reminds them. But when he makes his final plea, he asks that they be a family for him, if nothing else.

It's enough to strike a chord in Rhaenyra's heart, and she makes a sincere effort to extend some peace. Kicking off a night of many toasts, she raises a glass in Alicent's honor, thanking her for the years spent taking care of Viserys and even offering an apology. Alicent, in turn, shocks her father by accepting the olive branch and toasting Rhaenyra — "You will make a fine Queen," she tells her.

Both of them speak sincerely and, besides a few other uncomfortable toasts (Helaena you are so loved), their words manage to shift the mood of the meal. Jacaerys ignores Aegon's taunting and offers his aunt a dance. Around the table, everyone gets chatty and even kind of silly. We even get a glimpse of Otto Hightower smiling! I didn't know that his face could do that! They seem like a real, genuine family. For a second, I was afraid the joy might kill Viserys on the spot. Instead, he simply retires to take something for his pain — revealing that the very fragile man, on the verge of death, is truly the only thing keeping this family from imploding. The second he's gone, the happy family dinner unravels.

• FINALLY, an explanation for why the camera keeps lingering on Alicent's handmaid, Talya. And very well timed! I've started seeing crackpot theories that she's a young version of the Red Witch, Melissandre and personally, I was starting to think it had something to do with the character being played by director Miguel Sapochnik's real-life wife, Alexis Raben. But in reality, she's just a spy! That makes lots of sense. And it means Mysaria might be coming back in a big way because she has a direct line to all of Alicent's secrets.

• Viserys' inability to tell his daughter from his wife is a serious problem. Hw just accidentally gave Alicent half of a crucial prophecy and I'm terrified of what her takeaway was. Does she think she's the chosen one? Does she think Aegon is the prophesied prince? Is this just another reason for her to block Rhaenyra's claim?

• I'm no political strategist but I am absolutely baffled by Rhaenyra's decision to not tell Rhaenys that she did not murder her son. Generally, people like you a lot when they learn that you didn't have their child stabbed and burned! (I know it needs to be kept on the down low so that her marriage to Daemon stays legit, but I bet Rhaenys wouldn't mind her son being far away because it's a massive improvement on him being dead.)

• Listen, I am very much Team Rhaenyra but... are we sure about making Lucerys Lord of the Tides? Has that kid ever even been on a boat? Why wasn't he raised at Driftmark, a castle that he's expected to rule? And why isn't HE the one marrying Baela, who's the resident Driftmark expert?!

• On the subject of Targeryen education, how is Jacaerys only just learning High Valyrian? Rhaenyra was fluent at his age. Hell, even Daenerys was fluent at his age and all she had was an abusive, s****y brother to teach her. This is the height of Targaryen power, there are all sorts of tutors and books available, so why wasn't he just raised multilingually?!

• I can not overstate the unflinching badassery of Rhaenyra naming her one of her child Aegon as if to say, "Alicent, your first draft sucks, let's toss that one in the trash ad focus all our attention on my perfect beautiful boy." I don't yet know baby Aegon very well, but I already like him a thousand times more than the blonde dumpster fire who ruined Helaena's life.

• On the other hand, maybe this family just lacks any and all creativity. You're telling me that we now have two characters named Aegon and two characters named Viserys?! All because Rhaenyra couldn't dream up another name?! (On the bright side, one Viserys looks to be on his way out...)

• Three cheers for Matt Smith and his range: one second he's looking like an absolute puppy dog, staring sadly at Viserys and the next, he's committing a very graphic and public murder for which he will face absolutely no consequences.